


here's to life.

by stadiarosary



Category: SF9 (Band)
Genre: Action, Alternate Universe - Video Game World, Angst, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Reader-Insert, Romance, Science Fiction, Stream of Consciousness, Unbeta-ed, borderline NSFW
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:04:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27190117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stadiarosary/pseuds/stadiarosary
Summary: It was a peaceful day for Rowoon until a false statement was accidentally written as he couldn’t stop recalling his partner’s strange words.
Relationships: Kim Seokwoo | Rowoon/Reader
Kudos: 2





	here's to life.

**Author's Note:**

> i don't know why i dreamed of rowoon yesterday night so I decided to write a one-shot fic inspired by this weird dream. it's been a long time since i finished writing a one shot fic in one go while i listened to [fallout 4 radio soundtrack](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1Bz8Xqf5g7I98wEYAfI2Ev?si=xdbxqNyYQWuxOkXc0IB2Xg), some [ 50's jazz songs](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3WHVW1ShCZMbClR5h4enKe?si=7l3bjWhjQ2itaj-kDH2x9w), and [relaxing nier automata/replicant ost](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyIrXsl9LZA&t=2519s) for editing. this fic is also dedicated to my lovely mutuals on twitter. constructive criticism will always be appreciated! hope you enjoy reading this!

“Good morning!” I yelled louder than the usual over the music playing from my portable speaker as soon as I heard someone closed the bathroom’s door. “Would you like some coffee?” asked me once again but I absolutely got ignored for the second time. All I could do was nothing but shaking my head as I poured myself a cup of hot filtered black coffee. Seriously, nothing could beat the nice aroma of caffeine before getting started to hit the day.

Once I finished adding sugar and stirring the coffee, another sound of the same door getting slammed shut echoed throughout the house. Well, technically, I wouldn’t call it our house because it was intended to be our temporary shelter until further notice. Though at least, I was finally able to take a deep breath, spent the last two days resting for saving up my energy, and flipped some pages of the book that I was so eager to finish.

Unlike me, she looked so restless despite the calm atmosphere surrounding both of us and I wholeheartedly understood her worries. As expected, she went directly back to bed again. I should do something because abandoning her just like that wasn’t an option either. Coffee could wait. Well, yeah, it would absolutely get cold but I didn’t want to leave her hanging.

I knocked on the already opened bedroom’s door as hopeless as it might. “Good morning,” said me once again but much quieter this time. She was looking at the window with both of her hands lying on the pillow and her body beautifully gleamed in the pale yellow sunlight. Being motionless and expressionless simultaneously but this gesture screamed thousands of words to me, louder than any sound resonance would produce.

“What do you want for breakfast?” I asked her while I walked closer to the side of the bed. I was 100% sure that her stomach was grumbling, desperately waiting for food to come in since she skipped dinner. “The usual?” Pancakes with chocolate syrup and they were either omelet or sunny-side-up egg, entirely depending on her appetite and mood.

“Rowoon, I envy you,” she muttered with such a cracked voice that meant something else. I sensed her frail pain and somehow, I felt so distant from her although we were only inches apart. It was merely a pinch of dust yet weighted so significant.

Standing next to her got me nowhere so, I decided to lie next to her on the bed. My fingers caressed her soft cheeks, accidentally tracing the little scratches and a swell which wasn’t properly healed yet. Touching a wound permanently printed on your skin was like digging your own trauma. Two weeks ago was like living another nightmare that I couldn’t avoid but rewatch the relentless cruelty to occur right in front of my eyes.

We were so close to be beaten to death but the reinforcement finally came and we were released from being hostages. Then, we got divided once more because the leader’s strategy stated that we weren’t allowed to stay together at the same place. Hence, right at this second, we lived in this used-to-be cabin located near the hills and a small forest area. Being allocated was actually the right term for it but I liked the ‘live’ word more.

“Hey, you don’t have to,” I answered with both of my eyes fixated on her. Even though her face was still looking away from me but it didn’t stop me from talking. “We’re partners here and you have saved my life so many times that I still don’t have any chance to repay it back.” Even calling her name made my heart skip a beat and dear Heaven, I wouldn’t grow tired of recalling every single thing that she had done for me.

“No, you don’t understand.” Desperation was clearly written all over her face. “I wish I could just be like you. Like a bird, so free and fearless to cross the horizon until the end.”

I shook my head, followed by a short giggle, because it was simply a ridiculous allegory that couldn’t be possibly applied even in a parallel world. She could be so poetic when she was lost in her own thoughts and it was one of the things that left me so mesmerized. “Baby, the reality is the other way around. You’re stronger than me and I will be forever grateful for it. We’ll go through this together, I promise.”

Her stare finally landed on me and it struck me like thunderbolt lightning in the middle of the day. Tears began forming around her eyes and without any second thought, I rested her head on my chest, softly pulling her close in my embrace. She whispered, “You’re so sweet, Rowoon. In fact, you’re so sweet that I won’t find a man like you in my reality.”

My eyebrows frowned. “What do you mean by ‘your reality’? It’s _our_ reality that we’re living in.” I thought she was only joking when I heard her saying some strange things when I first met her but it still bothered me somehow. So vague yet it kept on creeping into my mind just like a lullaby from my childhood lingering from the distance.

“No, I’m not joking,” replied her as if she was secretly reading my mind. “You’re just too good to be true.”

I let out a burst of short laughter. “Okay, well, about what you just said, it reminds me of that old song that we used to sing when we found that old artifact back in the headquarter’s memorabilia. You know, the gramophone.”

She raised her head to look at me as her lips curved upwards. What a relief that she finally regained her composure. “Oh, come on. I was only humming along and you’re the one who was singing. If I’m not mistaken, it was called—what’s the song title again? Can’t take—I forgot.”

“It was called “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You”. You almost got it right, though.”

As if the lyrics of the song became a real monologue out of a broken vinyl plate, we didn’t take our eyes off each other’s for a moment until we locked our lips and felt another blessing raining down upon us. She was doing it out of despair, roughly to conceal the pain, and I voluntarily became her innocent mistress simply doing it out of sincerity to help her cope with this harsh world. She wasn’t the type to condemn others to satisfy the cravings of her looming shadow from the past. An oasis in the desert, a rare discovery which its existence should be highly recognized by others in this age.

They were all untrustworthy and her otherwordly presence made my life less lonely. She kept my secrets and so were hers, the thing that became more fortunate to live by.

“I love you,” I could only say a sweet whisper at this point as my heartbeat rate was going faster. 

“Rowoon,” she called my name after she gave me another kiss. “You’re becoming—“ Her words trailed off as she repeated doing the same thing and I closed my eyes again as an instinctive reaction. “A glitch in the matrix, aren’t you? I can see it now.”

“G—Glitch in the matrix? What is that? What do you mean by—“ Abruptly, my body was startled as she playfully touched my soft spot out of nowhere, resembling a child that knew their way to hack an old claw machine. As a response, I pressed a certain spot on her neck and she got astounded as well. “Wait, I thought we were going to have some breakfast first?” added me, almost sounded like a screeching mouse, while I ruffled her messy hairs.

“Yeah, thirty minutes after this.” Now, it was her turn to sit on top of my body. “Well, it was up to you, by the way.” It was obvious that she was just trying to tease me, buying herself more time. I didn’t mind it at all.

I hummed to show some fake hesitation. “It’s almost 10 AM, I guess. Oh, and I’m so hungry.”

“Okay, fifteen minutes. I’m gonna do the rest. You just have to relax this time.”

She often played it clean and I appreciated her for it. Taking turns, we made an agreement indirectly that fairness should be above all.

My lips were once again showered with love and my hoarse, low voice that I couldn’t hold back in, seemed to be a sequence of melodies to her. Once again, I couldn’t resist but let out a soft moan every time her hands stopped exploring my body and the tip of her fingers landed a slightly hard press on it. Fuck, it felt so good.

“Gosh, you’re so stiff. But I still kinda like it." Her sweet laughter rose within her as she continued.

Time always ran relatively on its own while we were utterly drunk in our self-indulgence. I honestly enjoyed every second of it. It had been two weeks already but the less I heard the deafening siren from afar and people’s chatterings of anxiety in the alleys, the more I tried to process the incomprehensible words that she often spoke about.

_“We’re in a computer game, Rowoon. You and I.”_

  


###

  


I was such a fool. I let my guard down.

That was the first thing I thought right after the glass windows located in the living room was broken into smithereens after the night fell. Gunshots were heard and we rushed through the bedroom to find any weapon that we could carry before quickly heading to the back door, hoping that the enemy didn’t surround us completely. Without saying any word, we went into the nearest forest area to hide for a while.

I couldn’t hold myself back from catching a breath so I slowed down my steps. “How did they find us?”

“It must be someone that disclosed our locations list.”

That totally made sense and that wasn’t the worst-case scenario yet. “Damn it. I thought destroying our GPS sensor would solve it.”

She grabbed my arm, ready to leave again. “Rowoon, we should keep moving!”

As soon as were took our first step, she fell down and yelped all of a sudden. Someone shot her right leg and before I could run away by carrying her with me, a shadow holding an auto rifle raised and their full-mask hiding their face, showed up between the woods. They have steadily positioned their aim right at my skull. Paralyzed, I couldn’t move any single muscle yet.

“Where are the rest?” asked them shortly.

I scoffed as a bluff, ironically with my hands in the air. “Why don’t you search for it by yourself?”

Playing a game with a short-tempered person would never do any good, especially when your life was at the hand of the devil. Yet in some way, it was better than dragging your own teammates together with you to hell back and forth. I already expected the worst. I softly called her name and whispered, “I’m sorry. It’s all my fault.”

It happened so fast. The pain that burst through me was unbearable and I couldn’t help as my body hit the ground. She screamed out my name and crouched to get closer to me. My vision was getting darker and even more blurry than before. It hurt. It hurt so much.

“Rowoon, please don’t do this to me! Please, hang on! It’s not your fault, please, it’s not your fault—”

Taking a short breath became a struggle and something restrained my eyes to keep myself awake. Her voice that hopelessly begged me for life, lingering around me, became more dampened. I guessed this was how a painful death felt like. Now, I understood why fear always flashed before those people’s eyes. Not only fear, but regret was also like a heavy burden that I couldn’t even let go.

How funny. I broke my own promise in the end.

  


###

  


“Good morning!” I yelled louder than the usual over the music playing from my portable speaker as soon as I heard someone closed the bathroom’s door. “Would you like some coffee?” asked me once again but I absolutely got ignored for the second time. All I could do was nothing but shaking my head as I poured myself a cup of hot filtered black coffee. Seriously, nothing could beat the nice aroma of caffeine—

No, wait.

The next thing that I did was leaving the kitchen and knocking on the bathroom’s door. I was totally aware that it was very impolite to do such thing but—

She eventually opened the door, eyes widening and jaw being dropped. “Rowoon, were you the one who just knocked?” asked her slowly, almost stuttering.

“Y—yes.” I answered nervously. “And to be honest, I don’t know why I just did that. Maybe, I just wanted to check out on you?”

“It’s totally out of the pattern. Wait, did the game itself just bug?” She turned around and waved her right hand awkwardly, followed by doing a few small jumps. “No, everything looks quite alright. Maybe, it’s because—wait, is it really working?” Then, she kept on mumbling and spitting inaudible words for the million times that I simply couldn’t understand. Bug? An insect, perhaps?

Suddenly, she touched my face and squished my cheeks that added more confused crease on my forehead. “What the—what are you doing?”

She still looked dead confused. “No, you look perfectly fine, too. Something else happened.”

Again, I could only heave a heavy sigh. Maybe, a little interrogation could probably help. “Can you give me any idea about what the hell is going on here?” asked me firmly as I folded both of my arms.

“Rowoon, this particular scenario has happened five times, I guess because I haven’t found the right way to complete this mission. It’s okay if you don’t know. You’re theoretically not allowed to know because I may break the system and I don’t want to lose you. Unfortunately, it’s not an open-world game so there’s nothing I could do.”

Game. Computer game. It rang a bell for me. Not so definitively but I was certain that I heard when she told me that phrase somewhere.

She continued, “There are gonna be enemies spotting us at night. It’s okay if you don’t remember this because it’s all on me. I’m the one who’s responsible for it.”

“Wait, what? Then, we should run away as soon as we can,” I replied although something was still a little bit off to me. How did she know that information so certainly?

“So, it’s true. Rowoon, you’re really a glitch in the matrix. Seriously, I don’t expect that.”

“What do you mean by—“

  


###

  


“Good morning!” I yelled louder than the usual over the music playing from my portable speaker as soon as I heard someone closed the bathroom’s door. “Would you like some coffee?” asked me once again but I absolutely got ignored for the second time. All I could do was—

No, wait.

Why was I here again?

  


  



End file.
